Steve Toth
From Peace Elements
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tothpoetry/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sufimystic/
Click Here & have a word with me. I'll be checking there for your messages.
Back to Peace Poets
FOR THE READER 9
Love cruises in an unmarked car
offering rides to anyone
foolish enough to come
Love is the stranger
your mother warned you
not to talk to
You used to say I was the only one
now you don't recognize me
without sniffing & tasting me first
& still I want you
Look what the poem dragged in
a lover whose love is gone
Fire season starts with your kiss
I can't wait for you
to pronounce me dead
to bury my face
in the pink red & gold
of your body
You love me & I stay loved
You've ruined me for anyone else
& still I want you
Love has so many lovers
it makes me lonely
How can I ever endure
opening my eyes in the morning
& not seeing you?
While all the time you're keeping
my nerves alive with pain
I know your love is ruthless
& still I want you
How can I put my love into words
when I can't put
even a carrot into words?
If you saw yourself for a moment
the way I see you
you'd fall madly in love with yourself
& still I dare to tell you
Language is the creation of longing
& still I want you
FOR THE READER 8
Sometimes I don't know
whether someone is joking
or being serious
At my grandfather's funeral
as a boy I thought
my father had started laughing
but he was really crying
I thought he was laughing
because he had just remembered
what he'd explained to me about
how nobody ever really dies
but he didn't
Here's a little something
I put together
would you mind bringing it
to life for me?
The words have been looking
themselves up in a dictionary
& can't believe their definitions
The silence of vision
& the blindness of sound
can work together all they want
but only love can get
our eyes to meet like this
You light me up
like a candle
& leave me burning
To be with you
is my one desire
Tell me
am I still the nothing
that you don't have to hide?
You know how to reach me
I'm wherever
you think of me
FOR THE READER 7
I know I should be saying
keep a poem in your heart
even if it isn't me
but I can't lie to you
I'll answer to any name you call
I've been dreaming of you reading me
ever since I was written
& now it's coming true
Those other poems keep lighting up
& going out like flashlights
with weak batteries
I'll take you everywhere they go
& then I'll take you higher
I'm no vampire
I'm a plant that just naturally
keeps turning to the sun in you
Naked poetry is when everyone hears
what's on the tip of every tongue
I've stripped away every shred
that doesn't live for you
I've left open all my windows
so you can blow through me
I'll be your playground
Let your tide roll in on me
Color me with your desire
I've invented different eyes
to find new ways of seeing you
Your love is the only power
that can lift me off this page
We take in oxygen
& give off carbon dioxide
like anything does when it's on fire
I've ripped all the pages from my heart
to keep the flames from going out
Now I see roses & thorns
reduced to the same ashes
Where is Jesus to turn
these words into wine?
I've written my best love poems
all over your body
with my tongue
What more can I do to keep you
from being done with me now?
WILD FLOWER
I'm a wild flower baby
I grow where I please
as brightly as I please
for as long as I please
Can't no one make me
do anything other
than what I please
I'm a wild flower baby
people come with their eyes
Come take a good look
I bless them with my wildness
I nod my head in the wind
& answer all their questions yes
Other people come with their hands
& try to take me home
Oh but I'm a wild flower baby
can't no one take me home
If you try to keep me I'll just die
If I can't grow where you see me
I'll grow where you're not looking
Watch out when you see me
My colors make the wind swirl
My freedom gives the bee a buzz
My laughter says the joke's on you
You may think you're fire proof
but you're not playing with fire
You're playing with me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
My reality is an exploding dandelion
being blown away by children
laughing so hard they can hardly stand
On the night I was born
my mother took one look
at me & named me
after the martyr Stephen
who got stoned
in the Bible
O mother you've brought something
into this world to die
I've been naked since I got here
Some people think that plants are dumb
because they don't talk
or pushovers because they don't fight back
But those who have
watched plants growing long enough
have seen their battles to the death
over sunlight & root space
unfolding in slow motion
When I was young my teammates told me
"You can either play your best
or you can play unhurt"
Nowhere is home to me
& I can't go there
When a porpoise in an aquarium
performs a desired behavior
its trainer blows a whistle & tosses it a fish
so it will associate a blown whistle
with receiving a reward
I've given up knowing what I'm doing
When I look into the mirror
that you've made your face up with
I see mostly the things
I refuse to see in myself
Come look deeply into these bottomless eyes
I don't know where
but you take me there
WORKING ORDER
Something happened while I was
keeping myself entertained
Death broke in & gave me some idea
of just how much I owe
on the time I borrowed when I was born
Time to work like nature does
steady & undaunted
listening for the poems
nature wants written
I can try to keep a lid on what I say in public
but I can't do a thing
about what love says with my mouth
Love is what can't be kept secret
Love is what
will have its say
We live on a planet of miracles
& you say you're uninspired
Excuse me for a moment
while I indulge my eyes
in some hitherto unseen beauty
Sow bugs can live up to three years
That's a long time to be a sow bug
but I'd rather be a sow bug than you
Who but you can withstand the surges of love
that life sends to break on our rocks?
I keep myself in working order by working
I can't stop to worry
about what makes your faint heart fainter
Love is what can't be denied
Love is what
takes your life
When I meet a friend
I can't wait to ask
how are you working?
Because when you're working good
it's pure life
When I listen to a love song
I remove the name
the song is addressed to
& replace it with the word poetry
When I hear religious music
I put poetry in
wherever God appears
How long will the love you desire
be anything other
than the love you're getting?
Love is what doesn't get worn out
Love is what
pecks at your remains
When you tell me you've got
something more important
than work to be doing
I say don't bring that weak stuff in here
or we'll see how high
it bounces off your head
Is there anything more worthless
than a love that isn't true?
When it comes to secret knowledge
I don't suspect a thing
Love is what can't be hidden
Love is what
you don't survive
NATURE LOVER 2
As I listen to the north wind
pushing through the trees
& puffing against the houses
it sounds almost as if it's wailing
"Say good-bye to the death you thought
was a long ways off
& would come like
a pleasant dream in your sleep
Say hello to the death
that goes wherever you go
The one that has taken whole species"
That's what I'd be wailing
if I was the north wind tonight
No matter how far I go into the forest
I never find myself alone
There's life in every form
& all the forms keep changing
so why not work together
on something joyful?
If we shed too many tears
stalactites might start forming
in the corners of our eyes
But if like clouds through which
the sun is breaking
we let our personal weathers dissolve
inspiration becomes a way of life
The sun is always teaching us
how to shed actual light
but we still seem to be left in the dark
We keep fooling with life
everywhere we live
everywhere our toxins reach
We can't talk our way out of silence
Even planets & suns lose their lives
but we all have a wild streak
we feel the urge to share
I see your mouth opening
but the cry that emerges
comes from the depths of the earth
LOVE POEM 6
for Sheila
What kind of love
can be put into words?
Not one as alive as ours is
But I offer these words
to you anyway
because I love to hear
your mad laughter
because I'm mad about you
I want to be real
for you to touch
I want to lick you
at your own game
Your kiss is a rising sun
breaking the dawn
wide open
Loving you is like
being translated
back into my original tongue
I become dust
when you flash me a look
I do nothing to fight
the fire that consumes me
The sun has a way
of opening flowers
& you have a way
of opening hearts
without breaking them
No one can set you any freer
than you already are
in my secret places
We're like love notes
that have been torn open
& read many times
We complete each other's circuits
My love is powered
by nothing
but you
WHAT LOVE ENDURES
What love endures
we can put up with
Some people say that only
a dead fish goes with the flow
Better to be a dead fish
than to not trust life
enough to live it
The only reasons for being born
are to find love
& lose our fears
We thought that getting carried
away by love
would be a carefree
& glamorous life
Little did we know
What we once thought was valuable
& what we once took for granted
have changed places
Love doesn't want us to be the same
Love isn't for the indifferent
Not a day goes by
that I don't want you
When I wake up
like a washed up fish
stranded on the shore
I don't stop flopping
until I'm back in your waters
If love is fire & shrewdness is smoke
when love's flame comes alive
our cunning floats away
Once we thought that love was
like posing for a camera
We'd flash our lightning
then walk off
& leave them burning
If we got caught
we could always talk with a limp
& give lame excuses
but love sees through our words
it tells us what we mean
Love outsmarts the ego every time
It shows us the way to lose
our fear of appearing ridiculous
We no longer ask where are you
taking us now
we just know that we keep going
The wind blows freely
through our cells
Love doesn't stop to feel sorry for us
It just leads us on
to the next crazy venture
VAPOR TRAIL
If there's nothing to say
no one to say it
& no one to say it to
How can I ask you to read me?
But that's what I'm doing
Our bodies are mostly water
with some minerals floating around
but if we don't take in air
& keep our fires lit
we'll never know what living is
None of us needs
as much attention as we desire
I want you to keep your light on me
Once we knew a dancer
& when her troupe gave a performance
we went to watch
sitting with her boyfriend
When it was over he said
"Now ends the dance of the performers
& begins the free style dance
of the members of the audience"
When I get up in the morning
there's a warm dent in the bed
where I crashed last night
Without you
light is just another kind of darkness
How soon will you be ready
to open your eyes & see
that none of us knows what we're doing?
We're like lost planets
wandering the emptiness of space
looking for a sun to orbit
I've been following a vapor trail
to your heart
& I've been getting nowhere
Without you
I'm a dead body
